My Morning Conversation With Him - April 8, 2009
Some days…mornings…when it’s peacefully quiet, one of those mornings when I step outside, bare feet on the ground, I look up and the sky is that beautiful blue with not a cloud in the sky and the only thing breaking it’s beauty is the magnificence of the sun…and it fills me. It’s warm and refreshing and the warmth and the blue that suddenly seems so amazing to me fills me. I feel it filling me from my crown all the way down my body and through my feet and through the earth making me feel connected to all, to everything. I speak to him…like this morning. It had been a couple of days and as I stood there I told him how even just a couple of days passing without talking to him…I notice it like when you leave your house and have that overwhelming feeling that you have forgotten something important. Just two days I feel like I haven’t talked to him, the one I love so deeply and completely, as though it was not just days but years. And I tell him in that moment I think of how different my life is, how far we have come…together. Where I use to be but where I am now. And I feel it, the fullness expanding inside me like it can’t be contained because there is nothing that could contain something so huge. I feel the touch in the palm of my left hand and then as I say “I’m listening, what do you want to tell me…what do you want me to feel?” I feel the touch in the palm of my right hand. Then in the stillness I look around and everything I look at, I feel. The trees, the grass, even the stillness itself…and I feel my heart chakra open and begin to spin…faster and faster. I feel the message…and in that moment nothing else matters but the love I feel. What I had for breakfast, the traffic I ran into that morning when I was running late, the things I pondered that morning as I got dressed, who will call me later that day and what they will want. In that moment there was only me and you and the thought crossed my mind that at that moment I was only connected to, only feeling, a very small portion of you…because you are so vast, so huge, that at any given moment I am only experiencing a very small part of you…and just that thought alone amazes me. And I am thankful and grateful for that small part of you I can experience and for the love I feel for you.
After a few moments I came back inside and sat at my computer. I was watching Jamie Foxx’s youtube video of I Wish You Were Here Live that was recorded no long after his grandmother died. Sometimes I feel the need to feel. I want to feel. I long to feel. I did not feel anything negative even though as you can imagine he was still mourning. But I didn’t feel sadness, despair…but love that covered everything. There was great longing, there was a holding back of great emotions to be able to get through, but everything I felt from him was completely covered with love. And I love watching the video because it actually moves me in a positive way. And once the video was over I touched nothing on the computer but the next song in the fav’s list started to play…if you use youtube you know after a video finishes that it sit on the screen asking if you want to replay or play a different song. I looked at the screen and the title showing still said “Wish You Were Here” but the the video “Love” by Musiq started playing.
LOVE
By: Musiq
Verse 1:
Love
So many things I’ve got to tell you
But I’m afraid I don’t know how
Cause there’s a possibility
You’ll look at me differently
Love
Ever since the first moment I spoke your name
From then on I knew that by you being in my life
Things were destined to change cause……
Chorus:
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first
Verse 2:
Many days I’ve longed for you
Wanting you
Hoping for the chance to get to know you
Longing for your kiss
For your kiss, for your touch, for your essence (your beautiful essence)
Many nights I’ve cried from the things you do
Felt like I could die from the thought of losing you
I know that you’re real
With no doubt or no fears
Or no questions
Hook:
At first you didn’t mean that much to me
But now I know that you’re all I need
The world looks so brand new to me
Now that I found love
Everyday I live for you
And everything that I do I do it for you
What I say is how I feel so believe it’s true
You got to know I’m true, love
April 8th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
I watched the video after reading your post and you are right, there is an incredible feeling of love. I had the pleasure of meeting Jamie a few years ago and I can say that he is very down to earth. Everything about him “feels” real. I never took the time to listen to the lyrics of “love” by Musiq. Thanks for posting the. That is also a good song.
Akashia
April 9th, 2009 at 5:57 am
yes.
love.