Change and Improvement of “The Self”

If you met and old friend you hadn’t seen in many years you would probably ask them how they have been and what is new. Think for a moment and realize what answer you would give to this question if asked by someone who hadn’t seen you in some time. You would probably tell them about things such as job changes, promotions, moving to a new house that you are proud to have acquired or a particular neighborhood, and of course you would probably talk about your significant other and then your kids or grand kids. Hmmm. That is a lot of catching up and good information however there is no mention of “The Self.” The most important or what should be the most important thing to you. What about changes to the self?

Take away all the superficial things, except the kids because they are of course not superficial, but take away talk of a new job, the expensive vacation you were able to take, the new house, new cars, and now tell me what is new with you. Have you changed your way of thinking? Have you changed your way of treating people? Have you changed the way you see things and view life? Have you realized an importance in having lots of joy in your life? Have you changed your view on what are the important things in life? What is new with you?

Many times I hear people ask why this person or that person treats them badly. I often answer the question in a similar way and that is that it is not really about them. Most often it is not. Many times people are unhappy with their lives or a situation they are in and it is easier to direct their anger for their situation onto someone else than to look in the mirror and admit they are unhappy with the man looking back at them in the mirror. I giggle a little bit right now because Michal Jackson’s song “Man in the Mirror” just popped into my head and it is actually perfect for what I am trying to say. “I’m looking at the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer, if you want to make a change, make a better way, then look at yourself and then make a change!” Sorry if the lyrics are not just right…I typed it as the song was playing in my head.

The self is so important but many people go through life never truly realizing that. Sure they understand at times the need to put themselves first but I am talking about seeing the importance of the way they treat the self and what they do for the self. The self have many needs but the most important one is LOVE. Unconditional love of the self and I am talking about the kind where you take the time to forgive the self, understand the needs of the self and then actually try to meet them. Once a person can satisfy the self then they no longer will need to lash out to hurt another because they will then be happy with themselves.

The next time you find yourself asking the question of why some people are hurtful to others, take the time and see it as an opportunity to look and see what need their behavior may point to within your own self, instead of looking at them and what their problem could be. Resolutions of problems with another always start with changes within your own self. Once you are satisfied with yourself you will not care two cents what negative thing another does because when The Self is happy and healthy there isn’t a negative thing that can affect you.