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If you met and old friend you hadn’t seen in many years you would probably ask them how they have been and what is new. Think for a moment and realize what answer you would give to this question if asked by someone who hadn’t seen you in some time. You would probably tell them about things such as job changes, promotions, moving to a new house that you are proud to have acquired or a particular neighborhood, and of course you would probably talk about your significant other and then your kids or grand kids. Hmmm. That is a lot of catching up and good information however there is no mention of “The Self.” The most important or what should be the most important thing to you. What about changes to the self?

Take away all the superficial things, except the kids because they are of course not superficial, but take away talk of a new job, the expensive vacation you were able to take, the new house, new cars, and now tell me what is new with you. Have you changed your way of thinking? Have you changed your way of treating people? Have you changed the way you see things and view life? Have you realized an importance in having lots of joy in your life? Have you changed your view on what are the important things in life? What is new with you?

Many times I hear people ask why this person or that person treats them badly. I often answer the question in a similar way and that is that it is not really about them. Most often it is not. Many times people are unhappy with their lives or a situation they are in and it is easier to direct their anger for their situation onto someone else than to look in the mirror and admit they are unhappy with the man looking back at them in the mirror. I giggle a little bit right now because Michal Jackson’s song “Man in the Mirror” just popped into my head and it is actually perfect for what I am trying to say. “I’m looking at the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer, if you want to make a change, make a better way, then look at yourself and then make a change!” Sorry if the lyrics are not just right…I typed it as the song was playing in my head.

The self is so important but many people go through life never truly realizing that. Sure they understand at times the need to put themselves first but I am talking about seeing the importance of the way they treat the self and what they do for the self. The self have many needs but the most important one is LOVE. Unconditional love of the self and I am talking about the kind where you take the time to forgive the self, understand the needs of the self and then actually try to meet them. Once a person can satisfy the self then they no longer will need to lash out to hurt another because they will then be happy with themselves.

The next time you find yourself asking the question of why some people are hurtful to others, take the time and see it as an opportunity to look and see what need their behavior may point to within your own self, instead of looking at them and what their problem could be. Resolutions of problems with another always start with changes within your own self. Once you are satisfied with yourself you will not care two cents what negative thing another does because when The Self is happy and healthy there isn’t a negative thing that can affect you.

THE DREAM

I was it what looked like my living room but it looks bigger and even more open. There were lots of toy all over the place. There was a little black girl that was looked to be about 5 years old…she looked like how I looked when I was that age and had this cute little dress on that looks like one I had. She was so sweet looking and innocent. She was playing. She walk over to this coffee table that looked like the coffee table from when we lived in Newburgh, NY. But she tripped or feel over something and hit the table in a weird way where she hit it with her whole body bent over it and hit it also so hard on the top that she was knocked out cold. I freaked and ran over and grabbed her and held her in my arms and started screaming for help. My mother had been out in the back yard and came running in. She said something about “You spanked her so hard that she passed out?!” I got pissed and said of course not. I was really mad that she said that. Then I tried to explain what happened.

INTERPRETATION

Unresolved issues going back to when I was a little girl. Issues that were never dealt with. From the time I was little I was bullied and control by my parents and still to this day they bully me, guilt trip me and try to control me. The harder I fight back and try and resist them the uglier it gets. In my waking state I feel like I am fighting two of the worlds scariest demons. This dream clearly shows the unresolved issues and also the fact that I am clueless to how to resolve the issues and how much it is bothering me. The in my face scarey confrontations with harsh hurtful words that I experience quite often from my mother happens again in this dream…it is about my feelings of my parents always blaming me for everything and always pointing the finger like “What did you do now?!” And also shows how I always react by trying desperately to explain myself almost as though I have to convince her of how things really are versus the way she is seeing them and misunderstanding me.

My inner child is still cowering in the corner afraid to come out because she is still not as strong as these people who are her parents. I still don’t know how to deal with the bullies who torture me but I don’t let people see how bad things are inside and I portray a person who is totally together, strong and can handle anything.

SYMBOLISM/MEANINGS

Living Room - To dream that you are in the living room, represents the image that you portray to others and the way which you go about your life. It is representative of your basic beliefs about yourself and who you are.

Furniture - Represents how you feel about yourself and your family. It refers to your relationships with others and how they fit into your life.

Coffee Table – Wood and always super polished. I remember it as not ever having anything on it. It was actually a very inexpensive coffee table but with that high gloss finish and the way my mother kept it polished it looked very expensive and classy. “Looks can be deceiving!”

Furniture & High Polished Coffee Table – Putting the two together makes more sense to me. Now it reminds me of those activities children do in school where they pick ou which object does not belong. That coffee table most definitely does not belong in my life. If it were in my living room it would stick out like a sore thumb. It would be the one thing you could point out and say that it does not belong. And regarding how I feel about myself and my family I feel that we are all living a big fat lie. I feel that my parents have pulled off the biggest charade, posing as loving parents and spouse that are kind and supportive. I see them as wolves in sheeps clothing and they put the sheep costume on for family and friends but they do not wear the sheep costumes for me…they take it off behind closed doors and show their true colors with sharp claws and all.

Toys – Childhood, Domestic Joy and Harmony. They were in the living room so it means that I try to make it seem that domestically everything is fine. Maybe also about my childhood and how I feel that there was an appearance that everything was perfect when things were far from perfect in my world.

Little girl – longing for the past and the chance to satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within. Perhaps there is something that you need to see grow and nurtured. Also signifies my attempts to save a part of myself from being destroyed.

Little girl being hurt - signifies wounded emotions or feelings that you may have suppressed. You need to address these feelings in order to properly heal.

Little girl being knocked out - unable to consciously confront the issues or the topic that is being raised by the unconscious. In the dream, internal forces, images or emotions that may be to powerful for us to process may have an overwhelming effect on the dream ego and passing out/fainting occurs. Fainting in your dream suggests that you are unable to consciously confront the issues or the topic that is being raised by the unconscious. In daily life, we faint when we are ill or when we are overcome by environmental forces (i.e. heat, smells, a traumatic event or a dramatic visual image). The fainting dream may be the first step in a process of becoming more aware of a particular area of your life.

My Childhood – Part of this dream has things from my childhood. The coffee table… some childhood anxiety has yet to be resolved in your adult life. That is so true and what has been bothering me lately.

My mother - To dream that you are having a conversation with your mother, denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life. It indicates unresolved problems that still need to be worked out with your mother.